Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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