At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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