you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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