So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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