Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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