Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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