You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
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he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
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ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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