Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
