im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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