Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
