how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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