he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
