I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
