Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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