She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
