I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
