It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
