absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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