Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
