I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Randomize
