I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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