I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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