I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize