you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
