I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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