What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
