she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
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Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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