Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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