I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
