spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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