pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
