carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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