I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
