I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize