I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My vagina is very pro this idea
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
