i permit you to call me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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