Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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