I think I am morally bankrupt
Small penises have feelings too.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
