I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
