please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
