i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
