WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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