We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
