Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Enjoy the penises
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
