I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
