do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
