just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
