It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
