Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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