Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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