on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So here I am, sexting at work.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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