He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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