the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
