Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Porn is love you can see.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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