What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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