He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
