my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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