shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
