Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize