Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
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I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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