Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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