Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
