I wannas sexs uuuuu
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
